Warning Signs of Abuse

https://www.thehotline.org/
national domestic violence website / 1.800.799.7233

Some warning signs of abuse in the home or in a relationship include:

• Pushing for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.”
• Jealousy: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone.”
• Controlling Behavior: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to do anything.
• Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
• Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who support you of “causing trouble.”
• Blaming others for problems or mistakes: It’s always someone else’s fault when anything goes wrong.
• Making others responsible for his or her feelings: The abuser says, “You make me angry,” instead of “I am angry,” or says, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you.”
• Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad.
• Cruelty to animals or children: Kills or punishes animals brutally.  Also, may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry.
• Use of force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex.
• Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things, degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.
• Rigid roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
• Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
• Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person “made” him (or her) do it.
• Threats of violence: Says things like, “I’ll break your neck,” or “I’ll kill you,” and then dismisses them with, “I didn’t really mean it.”
• Controlling behaviors using social media or technology: Listen to the following PSA.